Written by Jen Burke, with Aimee Tuck, at Bloom and Rise
Trying to conceive—whether through medical intervention or not—is a journey that touches every aspect of your life. It’s filled with moments that are at once deeply personal and profoundly isolating. You find yourself waiting: for ovulation, for test results, for the next cycle or step in the process. And in those quiet moments, whether lying on an exam table during a fertility treatment or staring at the clock during another two-week wait, the weight of it all can feel overwhelming.
As someone who works in maternal mental health, I’ve seen the toll this process can take on individuals and couples alike. But it wasn’t until I experienced my own TTC journey that I truly understood how it reshapes your inner world—your emotions, your identity, and your relationships. It’s a path that demands strength, patience, and resilience, yet it can feel invisible to those who haven’t walked it.
The Emotional Toll of Trying to Conceive
The journey to parenthood is often romanticized as a natural, joyful process. But for many, TTC can feel more like a marathon than a fairy tale. Every cycle brings a mix of hope and uncertainty, and the highs and lows can be emotionally exhausting. Whether you’re timing ovulation, navigating the complexity of fertility treatments, or simply waiting for a missed period, the pressure to “get it right” can be immense.
Each unsuccessful cycle can feel like a personal failure, even though it’s anything but. And while your emotions churn beneath the surface, the outside world often remains unaware of your struggles. This invisibility can make the journey even harder, leaving you feeling isolated or misunderstood.
How Fertility Challenges Affect Mental Health
The emotional challenges of TTC are rarely confined to the process itself—they often spill over into other areas of life. Anxiety can grow as the months stretch on. Sadness or grief may settle in after repeated setbacks. Even relationships with partners, friends, and family can become strained, especially when well-meaning comments or milestones like baby showers unintentionally amplify the pain.
It’s a process that forces you to live in a state of constant uncertainty, balancing hope for the future with the reality of what’s unfolding in the present. And the mental load—tracking cycles, managing appointments, and coping with the unknown—can be exhausting.
Caring for Your Mental Health While TTC
While the emotional challenges of trying to conceive are significant, there are ways to navigate this journey with compassion and care for yourself. Here are some strategies to help you find balance:
1. Acknowledge Your Emotions
It’s okay to feel sad, angry, or frustrated. Allow yourself the space to grieve or process whatever emotions arise.
2. Build Your Support System
Lean on those who understand what you’re going through, whether that’s a partner, friend, therapist, or online community. Connection can help ease feelings of isolation.
3. Set Boundaries
Protect your emotional energy by deciding who to share your journey with and how much detail to give. It’s okay to step back from conversations or events that feel too painful.
4. Prioritize Self-Care
Find ways to nurture yourself, whether through mindfulness, movement, hobbies, or quiet time. Small acts of self-care can provide a sense of control and relief.
5. Seek Professional Support
A therapist trained in fertility or maternal mental health can provide valuable tools for managing stress, processing grief, and finding perspective.
6. Celebrate Your Resilience
TTC is not just about the destination—it’s about the strength and determination it takes to stay on this path. Acknowledge the courage it takes to keep moving forward.
The journey to parenthood, no matter how it unfolds, is one of resilience and hope. If you’re in the midst of this process, know that your struggles are valid, and your story matters. By seeking support, setting boundaries, and prioritizing your mental health, you can navigate this challenging season with grace and compassion—for yourself, your partner, and the life you’re working to create. You are not alone.
A Note from kozēkozē
We know the journey to conceive can be a rollercoaster of emotions, and the tiniest mishap—like peeing on your hand while testing—can send you over the edge. Our kozēpee is an ergonomic urine collector to help reduce the mess and stress of this experience with its splash guard and flat surface to rest your tests on while you wait. We are with you, Supermama.
